NCIS Welcome
by Healer Sanina
Summary: Tony has his first day of work with NCIS. He gets to meet the crew, and be psychologically abused too. Sound fun? I think so.


**NCIS Welcome**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own NCIS. I never will. So, Paramount and CBS and anyone else who owns rights to this stuff, no infringement intended.

**A/N**: I wrote this as a challenge, and I was asked to write the tale of Tony's first day with NCIS. ThoughtGoddess asked me to write it. Tony is not one of my favorite characters.

**Summary:** Tony goes to NCIS from the Baltimore PD. He gets to meet Gibbs, Abby, and Ducky. Gibbs and Abby are a little abusive to the poor little new agent, as is a security guard.

* * *

Antony DiNozzo was the top of his game and he knew it. He had worked for the Baltimore Police Department for a few years, and been recruited – recruited! – for some other gig. It was some military group called NCIS, but it promised to be much more exciting than patrolling his beat and helping elderly ladies catch their dogs. Besides, military meant girls in uniform, and uniform was something DiNozzo enjoyed.

He slicked his hair back with gel, taking care to ensure every hair was in place for his first day at this new job. Preparing to leave, Tony strapped on his pistol holster and sighed at its light weight. When he left the Baltimore force, he had been forced to return his Colt. He had liked his Colt Ace .22, it had been a good gun and served him well. The only good news was that NCIS used newer guns, the fresh-off-the-line model of the Sig Sauer. Apparently, they had the P220 .45 waiting for him; just the size for his holster.

DiNozzo drove to the NCIS headquarters building, whistling as he saw the shining glass exterior. "Must cost a pretty penny to clean all those windows… either that or it is a Marine punishment," he muttered to himself as he pulled into the parking garage. Once he was parked, he approached the entrance, and met the security guard.

"Pass sir?"

"I don't have a pass yet. Special Agent Gibbs asked me to report to work at 0800, and said he would deal with that."

"No pass, no entrance mister. Those are the rules." The burly security guard moved to block Tony's access.

"Can't even get into your own building, DiNozzo? Maybe I recruited the wrong guy," came a voice from behind him.

"Special Agent Gibbs!" he exclaimed. "You have much better security than the Baltimore PD does!"

"He's with me, today. In the future, if he can't present ID, shoot him Jackson!" Gibbs led Tony into the elevator, and pressed one of the many buttons that lined the panel on the left wall. "This is for the bullpen, forensics lab is below that, next is autopsy, the garage, then the parking level. Got that, DiNozzo?" he barked.

"Sir, yes sir!" replied Tony, attempting to salute in a military style.

"First, you salute with the other hand. Second, never call me sir. Third, you aren't enlisted. Don't salute."

DiNozzo balked, then stood tall as the elevator doors opened onto his new bullpen. It wouldn't be good to allow the other agents to see him looking defeated before he even started. He strode proudly behind his new boss to their area of the large room. Gibbs gestured to a desk, indicating that Tony was to sit down.

"Boss, do I get an ID?"

"Your ID will be issued along with your weapon. Our shooting range opens at 0900 where you will have a weapons test. If you pass, we have a session with Abby at 1100 hours to have your ID made up. And DiNozzo? I do the shooting tests."

Tony leaned back in his chair, then stared at his computer. "Uh, boss? Do I get computer security clearance?"

"Abby will set it up. Your level of clearance will be processed by the director, and you will have your clearance codes tomorrow."

"Special Agent Gibbs?"

"What now, DiNozzo?" the cranky marine sighed.

"It is almost 0900." Gibbs leapt up. Tony followed him out to the elevator, and they went to the NCIS garage. They got into a sleek black car, and drove to the range.

Tony whistled appreciatively. "Nice facilities." Gibbs fitted him with a pair of ear muffs, then placed a pair over his own head. He led DiNozzo onto the actual range, then handed him a Sig .45. Tony took aim, and waited for the buzzer that indicated the start of the shooting.

After firing 15 rounds, he heard the buzzer to stop, and lowered the gun. He and Gibbs approached the target. "Fine spread, DiNozzo. I'm going to be able to issue you the preliminary weapons permit, and we'll build on that. It appears Baltimore can do one thing: teach you to shoot." With that, they returned to headquarters.

When 1100 hours arrived, Gibbs and Tony took the elevator to the lab, carrying what Tony viewed as a peace offering; a large Caff-Pow!. In the elevator, Gibbs turned to Tony. "Whatever you think of Abby's dress and lifestyle, she is the best lab tech we've had. Keep your mouth shut." With that warning, they stepped off the lift and into a totally different world.

Tony was amazed at the masses of electronic equipment filling the lab. "How many people work in this place boss?" he asked.

"Abby. One."

"Wow. She must be good if she has half a floor, and a suite of four rooms just for her!"

"I told you so."

"Gibbs! Is that for me!" rang a cheerful voice from the other room.

He nodded to Tony, then called back, "Only the best for you Abs!"

She came into their room, and grabbed the Caff-Pow, muttering about only being another minute. Tony was thankful for the chance to gather himself. Gibbs had given him fair warning, but she was Goth! She had the tattoos, the clothes, the hair, everything. And an obvious addiction to something; he could only hope it was to caffeine.

She finished her computer entry, then turned to face them. "This is the new agent, Gibbs? He looks fresh out of rookie school!"

"Hey! I have several years experience! I was with the Baltimore PD!"

"He's a little sensitive, Abs. He got roughed up by Jackson already this morning."

"I'll make his ID then. Smile!" She flashed a camera in Tony's face, then allowed him to pose against a white background and retook the photo. She loaded one into the NCIS databases and set it to printing out an ID. The other she placed in a file containing several other shocked looking photos of various people.

"Is she planning on blackmailing me, boss?"

"Nope. This is the one who has bullet injuries on her wall. That picture is the least of your worries."

Abby pressed a few more buttons on her computer, then swivelled to face them. "Here's the ID, and your computer access will come in the mail call tomorrow. If you passed your weapons test, we can go get your Sig."

At a nod from Gibbs, she led them into the innermost of her lab, offering comments along the way. "This is the DNA lab, and this is a storage facility. Ah, here we are. The ballistics lab!" She reached into a drawer, and pulled out a gun. She handed it to Tony. "If you ever need a fresh clip, pay me a visit," she commented, gesturing to the lab.

Gibbs turned to her in shock. "You make me go to the supply committee whenever I need a clip!" he accused.

She winked at Tony. "It is amusing to listen to them in the break room, complaining about the verbal abuse."

"That doesn't change the fact that you lied to me!" he shouted. Tony took the opportunity to sneak out of the lab. Watching his boss get into a shouting match with the lab tech who looked vicious enough to fight dirty was not his idea of first day fun. He took the lift to the autopsy floor, figuring he could give himself a tour.

The doors slid open, and Tony stepped into a sterile, metal room. A man in blue scrubs was hunched over one of the autopsy tables, whispering. Tony walked around, and was shocked to discover that the man was speaking to the body. He looked up. "Hello, you must be Antony. I am Dr. Mallard, Chief Medical Examiner for NCIS, but everyone just calls me Ducky. Where is Gibbs?"

"He and the lab tech were in a shouting match when I left. May I ask why you were talking to the corpse?"

"Oh dear. Those two again. I'll have to go talk to them. I talk to them because it is nicer than talking about them. This poor dear asphyxiated on a piece of bubblegum." The doctor pulled his gloves off, and left autopsy, gesturing to the assistant to place the body in the coolers. Tony shook his head, then returned to the bullpen, wondering what in the world he had got himself into. This was the most bizarre team he had ever met, and he was sunk in the middle of it.


End file.
